Happy 4th Brexit Day! Four years. Oven Ready? Is it cooked yet? A poem on this unbelievable anniversary. 4 years. £4.4bn spent. Blue passports. Sunlit Uplands. 4 years on and so little achieved. So few benefits realised. Only billions wasted and uncertainty and anxiety spread amongst those Europeans still here. But are leaving in their droves. Are feeling undervalued and marginalised. The very same government that pleaded for Eastern European fruit pickers to come and harve
Brexit Tea Break
When Britain's broken
And in utter despair
Have a cup of tea
And find some hope in there.
Get breakfast done
And ignore the news
We'll fix broken Britain
With a couple of brews.
So put the kettle on
Forget the anger steaming
Time for a cuppa
Let's start the healing.
A poem for National Poetry Day (03/10/19)
Brexit. It dominates every conversation, it fuels division and anger and ire and hate.
But it does
Get Brexit Done (The Fun Has Just Begun)
Get Brexit done
Strong and stable
Brexit means Brexit
Where's the negotiating table?
Do or die
Dead in a ditch
Prorogation for the nation
Ah, a backstop glitch
Deal or no deal
Let's get Brexit done
We'll end freedom of movement
The fun has just begun
The new Tory mantra. "Get Brexit done." Like a verbal punch to every interview. Hoping to beat us to submission. "Just get it done, jus
Gone, gone, the way of the winds
Harshly blown from a wicked sea.
Flotsam gathered on sullied beach
And weathered faces, beaten, lost.
The downtrodden, the forgotten, the left behind.
Gone, gone, the intolerance chimes
On streets that declare,
Be gone! You ain’t one of us!
England for the English!
The feted few of privilege gained.
Gone, gone, no longer the welcomed.
No longer a better life of village green
No longer the rolling hills, but the brownl
Cry Hurrah. (Down in the 'Spoons)
Cry hurrah for Brexit, England and St. Spoons!
In damp and malodorous, darkened rooms
Sticky with beer spills and the spittle of rage,
As they turn to another rant on another page
Of the fetid Sun and rabid Daily Mail.
And splutter insults at the desperate travails,
Of the immigrants and the war wearied refugee.
But sod them all, this land ain't free.
The Spooners rallying cry
Hurrah for Brexit, England and St. Spoons
And you wond
A Latin Brexit
De facto leaders and
Quid pro quo leavers,
Ego believers and
Bona fide deceivers.
Carpe diem Brexiteers,
Impromptu shouts and cheers.
Pro bono benefits arriving here?
Vice versa my friends,
Vice versa I fear.
Illegitimi non carborundum #brexit #Brexit #politics #society
I have lived here for 30 years.
Prove it and allay our fears.
But my children are British passport holders.
We'll see about that as they get older.
My parents came here when I was three.
But you are still a foreigner to us you see.
I've paid my national insurance, bills and tax.
Sorry, we're still sending you back.
But my family, my job, my life, my friends.
Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen, arrivederci, this is where it ends.
You can't kick
The Rogue Goes Prorogue
Let us dash with daring do
Prorogue the bally lot
And cause a hullabaloo
Shut down parliament
And be done with it
Force majeure for Britain
This damned no deal Brexit
Ah...weep not my remainer friends
Remember they'll all be alright in the end
They'll be beaming with the broadest smiles
As the donkey always shits on the biggest pile.
Get the flags of despair out.
The #brexitshambles stumbles from bad
The Big Words of Brexit
A country inveigled to an imbroglio state.
No deal forthcoming that's worth the wait
From years of angst and anger and chagrin.
Enmired in the quixotic notion we're better out than in.
Fed a diet of palpable, bare faced lies
From irascible, irredeemable, incorrigible shysters
Who, masters of their stentorian voice,
Bluster and bellow, it's your only choice!
And the animus gives way to a saddened dolour,
Immured in the mess we all must wallo
Brexit Day - Rich and Free
The day Brexit made us all rich and free
Morrissey at the Palace collected his MBE.
And every politician told us nothing but the truth,
While we all drank from the eternal fountain of youth.
And London's streets glittered, paved in gold,
While magic money trees fruited £50 notes for young and old.
The day Brexit made us all rich and free,
The moon shone blue and we all believed
That 2 and 2 always makes five
Sunlit Uplands became Airstrip
And you would stand against the tide resolute,
A shrill bitter wind ravaged King Canute.
Raging at the waves and armies of gulls
Do not land, we're full, we're full!
And you would stare at the setting sun,
Blinkered and blinded, oh wounded one.
Until the only world you saw was dark,
Hatred filled skies, an unending task.
And you would keep your beach an untainted white,
Debris of life, out of mind, out of sight.
Flotsam free and forever pure,
Magic Money Tree
Money grows on
Magic money trees,
Come what May
Shoot the breeze.
Spaff the lot
On Brexit ads
Sod the poor
They've been had.
To Sunlit Uplands
And all aboard
HMS Great Britain
Yet we can't afford,
Except consultants and
Ads peddling shite.
Sod us all,
Cos they'll be alright.
No more money
For teachers or nurses.
Just a government
Pleading empty purses.
The Magic Money Tree
Spent of cash,
There's Too Many Here
There's too many here
So send them back.
Herd them onto Megabuses
Heading south of the Watford Gap.
There's too many here
Taking all our precious jobs.
Grafting and working and helping the country,
While we shoot off our gobs.
There's too many here.
Nurses and carers and office workers.
Depriving and denying us employment.
We, the opinionated shirkers.
There's too many here,
But when they are good and gone,
There'll be no one to care
Brexit Fools Day
(2nd April 2019)
After a 7 hour Cabinet meeting in Downing Street, the powers that be have come up with a plan...one that Baldrick would be proud of.
After nearly 3 years, a deadline passed for leaving the EU, countless votes against Theresa May's withdrawal agreement...now is the time. To reach out and ask Jeremy Corbyn to
Brexit Day, here at last?
An end to this protracted and tiresome farce?
So turn out the lights if you would please,
As you triumphantly march and excitedly leave
And turn your backs and fart in Europe's general direction
Perhaps it's time for a general election,
Where no one will turn out to vote
A political squeeze and grabbing of throats.
You've sucked the life out of the people you serve,
Enjoy your special place in hell,
It may be just what you de
You can argue all you like
But Brexit has been utter shite
For one and all in this disunited land
This Disunited Kingdom, land of hope and glory
An unmitigated shambles, painted in colours Tory
Strong and stable, take back
Close all the borders, and away you go
Back to your countries and EU homes
Freedom not to move, not to roam
Within these lands bordered by Dover's Cliffs of White
I'll say it again
Brexit has been utter shite
And it is not
(A Brexit Forecast)
No more full English fry ups in the sun
No more beach burned bodies and Costa Brava fun
They'll shut all the pubs and ban all the trips
To John Smith's British Caff for the best fish 'n' chips
No more Chateau or Castillo or magnificent Schloss
No more lounging by the pool in an Algarve villa, what a loss!
No more nipping over the Channel for daytrip thrills
No more piling the van high with cheap plonk, fags and Pils
An end to free m
Let's Brexit, Exit
Let's leave please.
Ah, but no more cheese
From France or Greece.
No more Brie or Gouda
Gorgonzola or Feta
Yet you think
Life outside the EU
Will be infintely better? (I don't even eat cheese) #Brexit #Britain #Europe #politics #socialcomment
We'll show you the way
Just listen to what we say
And believe all the news
And don't challenge our views
It'll be worth the lies, deceit and the cost
But whichever way we Brexit, you'll end up lost
_____________________________ Ever get the feeling whichever politician you follow, you will always end up lost? end up lost and confused by the directions they take? #brexit #politics #Brita
Brexit Britain Break Up
(We're sorry Europe)
We've got ourselves in a right old twist
As we rage and rant and endlessly persist,
That leave we must from our European ties.
And therein they think the solution lies.
To ditch the doubtful Germans,
With their absolute wurst position
And unravel the spaghetti mess of the Italian vision.
To polish off the Polish and
No longer appease the Dutch,
Turn our backs on the Belgians, the Spanish, the Danes, the Greeks and the