From the age of 15 I was hooked. The Smiths formed the soundtrack of my adolescence...a shy teenager, sensitive and solitary, bookish and angst ridden, sullen and sulky. Not much could maintain my undivided attention.
Yet along came Morrissey, Marr, Rourke and Joyce with songs that didn't just sound great, but resonated and connected as no other band or music had. And still do today. The Smiths. A peculiar devotion some may say. But I know I am not alone.
From 15 to approaching 49 years old....Sometimes I feel 15 again. The teenage anxiety trapped in a balding middle aged mind. I need to reassure myself. I need to hear something to calm stress and worry.
And just for once I need to see the positive...please please please let me get what I want...this time. The Smiths have accompanied me from teenage confinement to adult freedom and they will be there always. There is a light that never goes out.
Do we ever really grow up or do we only just get older and take on more responsibilities....Are we all that teenager sat in their room full of thoughts of tomorrow and the future and all the fears that conjures?
Adult and mature, responsible and wise, knowledgeable and intelligent. But the child, the teenager, the young man or woman still speaks to us and for us.
This is my poem of teenage angst...seen from the perspective of a middle aged adult and all that entails...and a poetic dedication to the Smiths.
I won't share you
Though I know I must
Is it really so strange To ask why
Why these things take time
A lifetime of adulation
From adolescent youth
Learning to accept yourself
Adult yet still ill
For I know it's over..youth, a memory
What difference does it make
To be going nowhere fast
Well I wonder...I wonder
Where that adolescent youth is now
What difference does it make?
How soon is now as time marches on relentless
You grow up in panic
Yearning to be more than half the person you are
But to be told that joke isn't funny anymore
Stretch out and wait young man...old man..wait more
Because you just haven't earned it yet, baby.