Grief hits you unexpectedly. You can be carrying on as always, not thinking of anything when suddenly you are struck by a memory, a thought...something you see or hear or smell or touch. Something triggers your grief and it surfaces agains and holds you in its vice like grip. Refusing to let go.
Grief is like waves...they hit you and hit you again. Some small, others huge that engulf you and leave you gulping back tears and gasping for air.
And you know that while you can anticipate the next wave, you are powerless to stop it, unable to avoid it and it is impossible to know how big the impact will be.
Wave... After wave Crashing Resurgent Urgent Retreating Repeating
Momentary calm Temporary relief until Wave after wave after wave Saving all but yourself Swept up to turbulent crest Smashed onto shingle pebble and sand
Receding to lulled silence Leaving you beached, broken Pieces strewn like driftwood Waiting in dread expectation As the next crescendo of grief crashes down Wave after wave after life after death Cycle of grief with no relief From wave after wave
And so it is true...look I'm drowning, not waving