The Train South From Glasgow (Masks On)
We’re all in it
Just the same.
Except when we’re travelling
From Scotland to England,
On the train, where it’s
Masks on and frustrated sighs,
Pulling out of Glasgow Central,
South-bound under steely skies.
Masks on, lift up to sip
A scolding cup of tea.
Masks back down,
Until time to eat.
Masks back up,
A temporary inconvenience.
Crisps and sandwiches nibbled,
A shared experience as
The train pulls out of
Motherwell, and you hear
A yell from the on board staff,
‘I’m very sorry, but all of you
Need to keep your masks on.’
And everyone laughs,
Coz they know as soon as
That Carlisle is the
Next Station Stop,
The mask will be down
Jettisoned, ripped off.
And the smiling faces
Will sigh a deep heavy
Breath of unconstrained relief.
Because they know full well
That Coronavirus respects
The borders and follows
The orders of our elected
Political elite and woe
Betide any Covid that finds
Itself entering English space.
Because Covid needs to respect
The rules, the time and place.
And leave the train through
The air conditioning
Just after Lockerbie.
Because Boris has said
There’s no more Covid
In England’s lungs you see.
And the train trundles south
Towards London.
Masks off, breathe, breathe.
You keep your masks on Scotland.
We’re heading to the
Land of The Unmasked.
The Land of the Free.
Th' Train Sooth Fae Glascae (Masks Oan)
Wur a' in it
just th' same.
except whin wur travelling
from Scootlund tae England,
on th' train, whaur it’s
masks oan 'n' frustrated sighs,
pulling oot o' Glescae Central,
south-bound under steely skies.
Masks oan, hurl up tae sip
a scolding cup o' tea.
Masks back down,
until time tae eat.
Masks back up,
a temporary inconvenience.
Crisps 'n' pieces nibbled,
a shered experience as
the train pulls oot of
Motherwell, 'n' ye hear
a yell fae th' oan boord staff,
‘a'm pure sorry bit a' o' ye
hae tae keep yer masks oan!’
and a' body laughs,
coz thay ken as soon as
yon Carlisle is the
next station stop,
the mask wull be down
jettisoned, jibbed off.
And th' smiling faces
will sigh a deep heavy
breath o' unconstrained relief.
Because thay ken stowed oot well
Tha’ coronavirus respects
tha’ borders 'n' follows
the orders o' oor elected
political elite 'n' woe
betide ony covid that finds
itself entering sassenach space.
Because covid needs tae respect
the rules, th' time 'n' place.
And lea th' train through
the air conditioning
just efter Lockerbie.
fur Boris haes said
there’s na mair covid
in England’s pipes ye see.
And th' train trundles south
towards London.
masks aff, breathe, breathe.
youse keep yer masks oan Scotland.
we’re heading tae th'
land o' th' unmasked.
the land o' th' free.
